Jimmy Carr People Quotations

They say the people most affected by the credit crunch are pensioners - well, let go of the handbag then, Nanna.

I like to write a joke without any fat on it. The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.

I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.

It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group.

Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.

I don't see myself as offending people.

I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing.

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.

When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!

I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it

TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.