W. C. Fields Wine Quotations

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

You can't cheat an honest man.

Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason

Never give a sucker an even break.