Will Rogers Giving Quotations

A holding company is the people you give your money to while you're being searched.

Give her a day, and then in return Momma gives you the other 364.

So the question rises: How much liberty can you get away with? Well, you get no more liberty than you give!

The American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible, exception of stupidity.

The minute you read something and you can't understand it, you can be sure it was written by a lawyer. Then, if you give it to another lawyer to read and he don't know just what it means, then you can be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer. If it's in a few words and is plain, and understandable only one way, it was written by a non-lawyer.

One thing I will say about the Germans, they are always perfectly willing to give somebody's land to somebody else

A foreigner coming here and reading the Congressional Record would say that the President of the United States was elected solely for the purpose of giving Senators somebody to call a horse thief.

I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at everybody else. Sometimes it takes two or three conferences to scare up a war, but generally one will do it.

Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: Oh Lord, give us strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful with them, oh Lord, for they know not what they're doing. Amen.

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights.

I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.

The high income tax come pretty near passing in the Senate. Only lacked about six votes. So it won't be long now. Well, there is millions and millions that are not making it, that would be glad to give up 99 per cent if you would let 'em earn a hundred thousand or more.

Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that you can't please.

We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity.

The money was all appropriated for the top in the hopes that it would trickle down to the needy. Mr. Hoover didn’t know that money trickled up. Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night, anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow’s hands.