Famous Quotes & Sayings

Dave Barry

My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.

Bryan White

Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around.

Arlo Guthrie

What's in that pipe that he's smoking?

Andy Borowitz

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.

Andy Borowitz

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

Conan O'Brien

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?

Jimmy Roy

We have a small, tight family. I left home at a young age and the best thing for me was to go home at Christmas-time and spend time with my family and friends. It's kind of funny, most people do turkey and all the trimmings, but we would have a big seafood festival because it's the only time of the year that we'd eat it. We never really went caroling, but once in a while we'd got out for a sleigh ride

Louis C. K.

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

John Leo

The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: "Some assembly required."

Charles Caleb Colton

The rich are more envied by those who have a little, than by those who have nothing.

Charles Caleb Colton

Wealth is a relative thing since those who have little and want less are richer than those who have much but want more.

Charles Caleb Colton

The consequences of things are not always proportionate to the apparent magnitude of those events that have produced them. Thus the American Revolution, from which little was expected, produced much; but the French Revolution, from which much was expected, produced little.

Charles Caleb Colton

Theory is worth but little, unless it can explain its own phenomena, and it must effect this without contradicting itself; therefore, the facts are sometimes assimilated to the theory, rather than the theory to the facts.

Charles Caleb Colton

In all places, and in all times, those religionists who have believed too much have been more inclined to violence and persecution than those who have believed too little.

Charles Dickens

-Why don't you cry again, you little wretch? -Because I'll never cry for you again.

Alan Watts

If you are ready to wake up, you are going to wake up. If you're not you are going to stay pretending that you are just a poor little me...

Alan Moore

I have so very much. I have so very little.

Alan Jackson

The music business doesn't take up that much of my time. I probably should put a little more energy into it.

Bryan Callen

I celebrate masculinity when I'm onstage.

Valery Tokarev

We are proud to celebrate an important accomplishment in space. This would not have been possible without the cooperation of the 16 partner nations.

Klaus Wowereit

We are proud that people of varied origins and predilections feel at home in our city and celebrate together.

Neil Meron

What the Toronto festival premiere did was to reinforce why we wanted to do this. People approached us and said they had no idea how talented Liza was. In the past few years, her skills have been too obscured by the tabloid headlines. It is fantastic to see her being celebrated for what she should be celebrated for.

Chad Knaus

I can assure you, if we pull this off, we'll all be celebrating just like we always do.

Katsuya Okada

We'd like to celebrate the news with the people.

Charles Fuller

We're so excited to serve customers here in Fayetteville and the surrounding communities, ... With the store's updated design, great merchandise assortment, services and our remarkable team of associates, we will be able to provide an outstanding and even more convenient shopping experience for our customers. We're inviting everyone to come and celebrate with us.

Ernie Whitt

We're going to enjoy this, celebrate a little bit, but we do have one other game to play and there's no guarantee that we're going to the next round at this point.

Tim Reynolds

When we decided to do something to celebrate 30 years, I wanted to do something completely different, ... We wanted to do something we'd never done before.