David Letterman Mean Quotations

I'll be 50 years old tomorrow and that means, among other things, that now Bob Dole can start telling jokes about me.

I mean you think about the guy, the Nigerian guy, who was going to blow up the plane. He was wearing a pair of Fruit of the Lunatic. ... Guy was not too bright. He said that the reason he became a suicide bomber was to work his way up in the al Qaeda organization.

George W. Bush has a new campaign slogan: "A reformer with results." I don't know what it means [but] I think it's better than his old campaign slogan: "A dumb guy with connections.

New York City has 2 million rats. We used to have 8 million rats. Now we're down to 2 million. You know what that means? We lose four electoral votes.

President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.

It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights.

Mitt Romney said he's not concerned about the very poor. What he means is people making less than a million.

The latest polls show that Arnold Schwarzenegger is trailing Lieutenant Governor Cruz Bustamante in the polls. That's insane. I mean, think about it, this guy Cruz Bustamante has never even been in a movie.

The general election's taking place today in Iraq, so I guess that means we're one step closer to being there for another 10 years.

Over in Afghanistan, Osama stuck his head out of the cave and saw a shadow. So, that means six more weeks of bombing.

Mitt Romney is not going to be running for president. So you know what that means. We are getting closer and closer to 'President Trump.'

Keep in mind that your individual vote doesn't mean anything.