Rita Rudner Want Quotations

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost?

Nobody is really happy with what's on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind.

I was going with someone for a few years, but we broke up. It was one of those things. He wanted to get married, and I didn't want him to.

I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.