David Letterman Mail Quotations

CBS News finally received anthrax in the mail. As usual, we're number three.

You can email me, but I prefer letters that come through conventional mail. I like letters that have been licked by strangers.

This Hillary Clinton scandal has to do with emails. All I get are emails for Canadian Viagra.

Hillary has now erased all of her emails, and she also had all of her pantsuits dry cleaned.

Instead of reading vows at the wedding ceremony, they read hacked Sony emails.

The Hillary team is driving around in a van. Sometimes people get those gag bumper stickers put on their van. Hillary has one on her van, and it says, 'If this van's rockin', I'm deleting emails.'

There's some kind of a thing where when she was Secretary of State she was using her own e-mail instead of the State Department, and I thought finally, a Clinton scandal the entire family can enjoy.