Groucho Marx Life Quotations

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.

Always examine the dice.

She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.

Time wounds all heels.

Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.