Marilyn Monroe Funny Quotations

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.

It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.

I always sleep with my mouth open. I know because it's open when I wake up.

Say good-bye to Pat, say good-bye to Jack and say good-bye to yourself, because you're a nice guy.

People ask me if I am going on making cheesecake pictures now that I'm a star. My answer is that as long as there is a boy in Korea who wants a pinup of me, I'll go on posing for them.

It stirs up envy, fame does. People...feel fame gives them some kind of privilege to walk up to you and say anything to you--and it won't hurt your feelings--like it's happening to your clothing.

I never wear stockings or underclothes because I think it is important to breathe freely.

Suicide, is a persons privilege. I don't believe it's a sin or a crime it's your right if you do. Though it doesn't get you anywhere.

If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.