W. C. Fields People Quotations

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.

Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.

I always made up my own acts; built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people; and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.

You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.